As I’m preparing my goals for the year, I think a lot about what metrics matter in my life. I’ve been thinking about where I should focus. This has led me to create an Excel tracker (no surprises there) to prioritize everything I’m doing. I initially focused solely on my business and what goals were important to that.
However, I’ve now expanded this to include personal things: metrics that matter.
Leaders Eat Last Mentality
I usually think about myself last. Unfortunately, I also lump my family into the category of taking care of myself. I’ve slowly started to figure out how important it is to take care of myself first. I learned this as a leader in the Army because I needed to do the work on myself before I could help others.
In short, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Put on your oxygen mask first. This year, I’m trying to shift my mind to really focus on what I need and what my family needs from me and what habits are needed to give them what they need from me. To be clear, they’re not neglected, and I get a lot of family time. I just want to be more deliberate about tracking and analyzing how I’m doing.
Tracking Family Metrics
I’m creating another spreadsheet to help me think about the different tasks or activities we need as a family. When I think about metrics that matter, I’m looking at those activities I would advise somebody in my position to do.
I feel like I’m really good at practicing what I preach. So, when I give really good advice, and I also follow that advice, everyone wins. The metrics that matter the most to me are flexibility, time with family, and fulfillment.
Flexibility
The biggest thing that I need to work on for flexibility is saying no more often. There are many times that I say yes when I really should say no because I don’t actually have the time to do them. I somehow always figure out how to get everything done, but that often comes at a cost.
I used to cut out my sleep to get this done, but I no longer do that because I realize I do my best when I’m well-rested. I don’t always get a good night’s sleep, but when I do, I feel focused, alive, and ready to do my best work.
Saying yes to a one-hour task seems small but adds up over time. If I want more flexibility in my life, I need to build some white space on my calendar.
Time with Family
This is literally the whole focus of the next 10 years of my life. My son is currently getting ready to turn nine, so I’m within the last decade of him living at home. I know for a fact that if I don’t maximize my time with him now, I will regret it.
I’m making sure to put in the effort to do special things with him. I actually think I’ve been doing really well with this overall, especially whenever you consider all the different things that I have going on already. We spend a ton of time playing LEGO, 3-D printing, and going to breakfast on Saturday mornings to look for classic cars to drive by. I also take him to piano practice every Monday night.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
By all objective measures from my childhood, he’s already spent more time with his dad than all three of my siblings and I combined. However, comparison isn’t a great way to decide what life should look like. Of course, I’d like a deeper relationship with my father.
My dad is a good person; we didn’t spend as much time with him growing up because he worked a lot. He did what he thought was best at the time. I gained a healthy work ethic from watching him and my mom work in many different capacities. I’m incredibly grateful for having grown up where I did.
So, moving forward with my son, I want to track things like how many school events I attend each year, how many hours we play LEGO together, and how many breakfasts we have together.
Purpose and Fulfillment
I’m acutely aware of how limited my time on earth is. My mom passed away when she was only 55. On my first deployment to Iraq, some people I deployed with were here one day and gone the next.
This has had a significant impact on my life and made me cherish the time we do have on this planet. I’m not trying to be dramatic, it’s just a part of my life experiences. I find it to be a very morbid gift, but a gift nonetheless.
So with that, you have to answer the question: what am I going to do to make my life have an impact when I’m gone? For me, it’s helping other people get their personal finances under control so they can “solve the money equation” and focus on the things that matter to them, their metrics that matter.